Moving On
by SEALteamsteve
Summary: A follow-up to my story 'The Destruction of Steve McGarrett' - Steve has trouble moving on after the tragic deaths of Catherine and their newborn son. Can his 5-0 family help him through his dark days?
1. Chapter 1

********* This story takes place eighteen months after the tragic deaths of Steve's wife and newborn son at the hands of Wo-Fat (a follow up to my story – The Destruction of Steve McGarrett) ******** **

Steve lay awake, Kailani was sleeping with her head on his shoulder, his arm draped around her naked body. Her arm was thrown across his bare chest, their legs still entwined. Their lovemaking had been a beautiful experience and yet here he was, unable to sleep with tears falling down his cheeks. He would not sleep the rest of the night.

At five in the morning he slipped out from underneath her and as he moved from the room to go take a shower he looked back at the gorgeous Hawaiian born beauty he had been dating for the last three months and he sighed deeply. His mind was racing, filled with thoughts of love, loss, anger and betrayal. Steve McGarrett never felt so lost and alone in his whole life.

Kailani was working the night shift at the hospital tonight so he showered, dressed and snuck out of the house without waking her. He didn't need to be to the office until eight o'clock so he had time to stop first. He needed to see them now…...he had to.

He parked his truck at the front gate and walked, breathing in deeply the already warm Hawaiian air. His lungs burned as the tears again filled his eyes and a large lump developed in his throat.

Finally he was there. He looked down at the etched granite stone,

'Catherine Michelle McGarrett 6-22-77 - 10-15-11, beloved wife and mother' 'John Daniel McGarrett 10-15-11 – 10-16-11, treasured son'

Steve sat at the grave and ran his fingers over the stone. He sat there deep in his thoughts and memories as the sun slowly rose. He was oblivious to the time and before he knew it his phone was ringing.

"Hey Danny"  
>"Hey…hey? Where are you buddy?"<br>"What time is it?"  
>"It's almost 8:30, you still in bed?"<br>"Uhhh, no…..sorry man, I'll be there in about twenty minutes"  
>"Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine…see you soon"<p>

Steve was extremely quiet all morning spending most of his time behind the closed doors of his office.

Chin approached Danny at around noon, "What's up with the boss today?"  
>"I don't know. He hasn't said more than a dozen words all morning"<br>Kono came racing in, "We've got a kidnapping guys"  
>Danny moved to Steve's office, "Hey we've got a kidnapping call, let's go"<p>

Steve was staring blankly at a file on his desk and appeared not to hear him, "STEVE, hey did you hear me?"

"No….sorry Danny, what's up?"  
>Danny took a couple of steps into the office but decided not to push him, "Come on man, we've got a kidnapping"<p>

Steve closed the file and slipped it into his desk drawer before moving to join the others.

"What do we got Kono?"  
>"A two year old boy, Tyler Ahanah was kidnapped from his back yard this morning. His nanny was shot and the child's mother found her when she returned back from an appointment"<br>"She's alive?"  
>"Yes. She's in surgery now"<br>"Has there been a ransom call?" "No"

"Danny and Chin, I need you to go to the hospital and interview the nanny as soon as possible. Kono and I will go to the family home. Call me once she wakes"  
>The team then left the office for their destinations.<p>

**50505050505050505050505050**

As he was driving Chin looked to Danny noting the concern on his face.

"What's up bro?"  
>"Nothing…nothing"<br>"Do you think he can handle this?"  
>"What? What do you mean?"<p>

"You know what I mean Danny, a two year old boy…kidnapped"  
>"He'll be okay Chin, he's a professional"<br>"And what in the hell does 'that' have to do with anything? It's only been eighteen months"  
>"He's been doing well you know that. He seems very happy with Kailani, he seems to be…..moving on"<p>

"Yeah he's seemed happier the last couple of months but he sure seemed distracted this morning. Do you want me to have Malia check with Kailani to see if she knows anything"  
>"No…at least not yet. They could have just had an argument, it's none of our business" Danny smiled softly.<p>

"What's that smile for bro?"

"Just thinking Chin. In the weeks after Cath and John died I never thought we would see Steve happy again. When Malia introduced him to Kailani and by the end of dinner he was smiling…... geez I was so happy that night because for the first time in over a year I saw it…...a genuine McGarrett smile. She's been so good for him and I think she's helping him heal"

"She's a great lady Danny"  
>"And he's a great man"<br>"Yes buddy, that he is"


	2. Chapter 2

Steve pulled up to the Ahanah home. He had not said a word during the drive over and Kono reached out and touched his arm as he opened his car door.

"Boss…."  
>"Yeah, what is it?"<br>"Are you okay boss?"  
>Steve placed his hand on top of hers and smiled, "I'm fine Kono. Let's go bring this boy home"<p>

They were escorted to the den and after introductions they took seats across from Tyler's parents, Palini and Valerie. HPD was busy setting up phone equipment for a trace and they were securing the crime scene in the back yard.

Steve spoke first, "Mr. Ahanah, what type of business are you in?"  
>"I'm am architect"<p>

"Have you had any jobs lately that resulted in bad blood with contractors or businessmen. Anyone you can think of who would take Tyler?"

"We've been trying to think and no…...I just don't know of anyone who would do this. I kept my family life very private…...oh God, please find my boy….." The man placed his face in his hands and sobbed.

Valerie Ahanah looked at Steve, "Why haven't they called us yet Mr. McGarrett?"

"It's early. Kidnappers usually don't call until a few hours have passed. And we'll be ready when they do. Can I get a current photo of Tyler?"  
>Valerie moved to the fireplace mantel returning to hand Steve a picture of a gorgeous little boy with dark hair and deep blue eyes. He was holding a Winnie-The-Pooh bear and smiling from ear to ear.<p>

Kono watched Steve's reaction carefully noting his struggle to compose himself before he spoke. "I'll find your son Mr. and Mrs. Ahanah, I promise you…I'll bring Tyler home to you"

"Thank you Mr. McGarrett….thank you"

The men shook hands and Steve then excused himself to go check with the HPD on the status of the crime scene.

**505050505050505050505050**

Kono's phone rang a few minutes later and she excused herself to talk to Chin.

"Hi Chin, is Camille out of surgery?"  
>"Yes, but we can't see her yet. How's it going over there?"<br>"There's been no call yet. The parents have no idea who could be involved"  
>"Kono, how's our boy?"<br>"He says he's fine….but...…"  
>"But what Kono?"<p>

Danny looked at Chin, running his hand through his hair as he listened intently.

"Chin…he promised the parents that he would find Tyler and bring him home safely. He knows better than to make a promise like that"  
>Chin sighed deeply, "Yes he does. Just watch him carefully cous' and call if you need one of us over there okay?"<br>"Will do, keep in touch"

Danny looked at Chin, "What? Just tell me alright"  
>"He promised the family he would bring Tyler back to them"<br>Danny simply shook his head, "Can you handle things here?"  
>"Yeah, I got it. I'll call you as soon as I can talk to her"<br>"Thanks man"

**50505050505050505050505050**

As Danny drove to the Ahanah home he wondered how he should handle this. Over all Steve was doing well, but occasionally a case would overwhelm him and the three of them had grown to be quite adept at taking over cases when they felt it was necessary.

As he entered the house Steve noticed him and moved to his side. "What are you doing here? I told you to stay with the nanny, is she awake?"

"No, no….she's out of surgery but it will be a couple of hours before we can talk to her. Chin's got it under control, no worries man. How's it going here?"

"Go out to my truck now, I'll be right out" Danny saw the anger in Steve's eyes and decided it would be best to do as he was told, the Ahanah family did not need to see the lead investigator losing control.

A few minutes later Steve and Kono entered the truck. Steve ran his hand over his face, "Will you tell me what the hell you're doing here Danny?"  
>"What do you mean by that?"<br>"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I MEAN!"  
>"Steven, calm down please"<p>

"Don't you tell me to calm down" Steve gritted his teeth, his jaw tense, "I am the leader of this task force and you WILL do as I tell you, do you understand me?"  
>"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been on edge all day"<p>

"NOTHING is WRONG with me, now we have a case to solve and a child to find. I expect you to go to the hospital and get back to me after you interview Camille, DO you hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear you. Can I ask you a question though partner? What in the hell are you doing promising these parents that we'll find Tyler? You know what the odds are in kidnappings for ransom. You know better than to make a promise like that!"

Steve glared back at Kono, "What is this? Why are you two questioning everything I do?"  
>"Boss, we're worried about you that's all"<br>"I don't want or need you to worry about me. Now let's get back to work" Steve exited the truck slamming the door behind him.

They watched him storm away from the truck. Danny sighed deeply, "Oh boy…..it's going to be a long day"

"He was a bit pissed off I'd say"  
>"A bit? That's an understatement honey"<br>"What's wrong with him today?"

"I don't know. I haven't really had a chance to talk to him, but something must have happened last night. He hasn't been himself all morning and then he draw this case….Jesus Christ…... no matter what he says Kono, watch him and call me if you need me"

"Will do Danny"  
>They exited the truck and she watched as Danny drove off before she headed back into the house.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Once they had fully dusted the crime scene... the patio, furniture and toys, Steve instructed Kono to go back to headquarters to run the prints.

"Are you sure you want to handle things…alone" She hesitated as he again eyed her sternly. "Okay boss. I'll call you soon"  
>"Thank you Kono"<p>

She called Danny as she pulled away from the house in Steve's truck.

"Hey good looking how's he doing?"  
>"Well he made me leave. I'm on my way back to headquarters to process the fingerprints. He seems okay, but he's definitely edgy"<br>"Okay, don't worry Kono. Just do what he asks. We're just going in to see Camille now so we'll call you when we're done here"

As they entered the hospital room they moved towards the young lady's bed. She had been shot in the abdomen and forearm. They stood on either side of her bed.

"Camille, I'm Detective Danny Williams and this is Detective Chin Ho Kelly, we're with the 5-0 Task Force and we're investigating Tyler's kidnapping"  
>"Oh God no…..they took Tyler? Oh my God no, not the baby"<p>

Chin spoke, "Camille, we need you to stay calm and try to answer our questions so we can find Tyler and bring him home"  
>Camille nodded her head as Danny handed her a tissue to wipe her tears.<p>

Danny then began, "Camille, we need you to just tell us everything you remember and we'll ask you questions"

"It was about 11:30 and we had only been outside for a few minutes. I was rolling a ball to Tyler and he was throwing it back to me. He was so happy, just giggling…... he's such a beautiful and happy baby. They came into the backyard, she was holding a dog collar…..."

Chin interrupted, "Wait a minute Camille, you said she?"

"Yes, it was a young couple. They said they were looking for their dog. I turned towards Tyler and rolled him the ball. He toddled away from me after it and when I turned back to the couple…..he shot me"

Chin walked away from the bed and called Kono.  
>Danny took her hand in his, "Camille I need you to think really hard. Did they call each other by name at all and would you be able to identify them?"<p>

She closed her eyes, "Yes, she called him David, both were white, dark brown hair. His hair was curly, hers was shoulder length. She wore wire rimmed glasses….and…oh God, I heard him tell her to hurry or they would miss their flight…"  
>Danny smiled at her, "You did great sweetheart"<p>

Chin then added, "Camille one of our co-workers is on her way over to draw a sketch of the suspects. We're going to get to the airport"  
>"Find Tyler…oh please find Tyler"<p>

Danny dialed Steve's cell as they were racing to the elevator.

"Steve, this is not a kidnapping for ransom. Camille said it was a young couple who took Tyler and she heard them say they were catching a flight"  
>"This is an abduction? Good work Danny, head to the airport, I'll call you right back"<br>Steve pulled Duke aside and quietly updated him. He didn't want to tell the parents anything yet and taking the keys from Duke, Steve raced off in his squad car towards the airport. He was closely followed by two other squads.

As soon as he was in the car he called Danny, "Okay partner, I'm in route. Tell me what you know"  
>"It was a young couple. His name is David. She'd never seen them before. Steve, obviously they had been casing the family and they knew Camille would be alone with the baby. Kono's on her way to the hospital to draw up sketches" He then gave Steve the descriptions that Camille had given them.<p>

"Okay, I'm only about ten minutes from the airport and I have HPD back up with me"  
>"Steve we're at least a thirty minutes out. Be careful man. He shot a young girl, he won't hesitate to shoot you"<br>"Yeah…don't worry about me"

"I'm your partner, worrying about you is part of my job description"  
>"You worry too much. I'll send you a picture of Tyler and I'll see you there"<p>

Hanging up the phone he looked at Chin, "Speed up brother", and the duo sped towards the airport. Danny also phoned HPD for additional back up and an ambulance to be sent.

Steve pulled up to the front doors of the terminal followed by the two squads.

He popped the trunk of the car and as he was putting on his vest he spoke to the fout agents with him. "Here is a picture of the baby" They handed around the picture of Tyler as Steve gave them descriptions of the suspects. "We don't have any idea where they are heading and they have a couple of hours lead time on us. Check the gates first. Hanson, you and Lilo move to the left, Makino you come with me to the right. Johannsen you monitor the doors here just in case. Listen to me, this man shot an innocent woman in front of this child. He is extremely dangerous. If you spot him, radio the others before you move in. Be careful now"

The men made their way into the terminal and it didn't take long to find them. Little Tyler was standing with his hands on the window watching the planes on the runway. The female kidnapper was right at his side and Steve spotted 'David' sitting a few feet away. Staying out of sight Steve radioed the others to join them and then they watched, waiting for an opportinity.

Fortunately the best thing that could have happened did, as David got up, spoke to the woman and then turned and walked towards a nearby bathroom. As soon as David entered the bathroom, Hanson and Lilo made their way towards him and with the woman's full attention on the child and the planes, Steve and Makino quietly moved towards her. In unison Makino grabbed the woman pulling her backwards and away from the child as Steve swooped Tyler into his arms turning away from the woman and pulling the baby close to his chest protecting him.

The woman was screaming for David and Makino was handcuffing her just as the gunshots rang out from the bathroom. Steve moved quickly placing Tyler into the arms of an airline gate attendant telling her to duck behind a nearby counter until he returned.

Steve raced towards the bathroom gun drawn to find Hanson and Lilo coming out with David, cuffed and bleeding from a bullet wound to the shoulder.

Nodding at the men, Steve ran back to the attendant and taking Tyler into his arms he walked to a nearby gate to examine the boy.


	4. Chapter 4

Danny and Chin arrived to find Steve sitting with Tyler on his lap, both of them chattering and giggling. Chin took charge of the crime scene and called Kono while Danny stood near Steve, unnoticed for several minutes.

Danny's heart broke for his partner as he watched his friend playing with the little boy, smiling and laughing while his heart was undoubtedly breaking for his own son who would never grow up.

Tears were welling in both men's eyes as Steve sensed Danny's presence and turned towards him.

Danny spoke first, "Sounds like he's doing fine, huh?"  
>"Yeah...…he's a happy baby"<br>"Great job partner. Have you called the parents yet?"  
>"No, we're just ten minutes away. Let's take him home"<br>"Sounds good"

Leaving his keys with Chin, Danny drove Duke's squad car back to the house with Steve holding tightly to the precious little boy.

As they entered the house Tyler let out a squeal of delight bringing his Mother and Father running to the entryway from the nearby den.

Valerie raced towards Steve, arms outstretched, "OH MY GOD TYLER!"

As Steve placed the boy in his Mother's arms there was not a dry eye around. Valerie and Tyler were engulfed in a hug from Palini who guided them into the den.

Once his wife and son were seated on the couch, Palini turned to Steve, shook his hand and embraced him. "Thank you Mr. McGarrett. You have given us our life back….Tyler is everything to us…thank you, thank you"

"You're welcome. He's a beautiful boy, you're very blessed" Steve was struggling to stay composed.

"Yes we are blessed…we can never thank you enough"

Steve added, "We'll leave you now and the HPD will finish up here"  
>Valerie stood and handing Tyler to her husband she embraced Steve tightly and kissed his cheek, "Thank you dear man"<p>

"You're welcome, can I see him for a minute?"  
>Palini handed Tyler to him and the boy wrapped his tiny arms around Steve's neck. "You be good little buddy" Steve whispered as he kissed the boy. Then handing him back to his Mother he turned and left the room.<p>

Danny touched Steve's arm as he passed him in the doorway and smiling at the family he turned to follow Steve.

As they exited the house Danny hollered out, "Let me drive buddy"

Steve dug into his pockets and tossed the keys to Danny.

As they began to drive away Danny looked at his partner. His head was tipped back and his eyes were closed. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Danny spoke, "Do you want to talk?"  
>"No….can't Danno…..not now"<br>As the tears began to flow Steve turned his face away from his partner.

"Okay …..I'm here for you man. Whenever you need to talk just let me know"

Steve was an emotional wreck right now. The lump in his throat was so huge that he couldn't have talked even if he wanted to.

As they arrived at headquarters Steve spoke softly, "Danny…I need to be alone for a while"

"Are you sure babe? Why don't you please just come inside"  
>"Danno…please"<br>"Steve, you did a great job today. You saved that little boy's life. Promise me you'll call me later?"  
>"Yeah, I'll call you"<p>

Danny got out of the truck as Steve remained in the passenger seat. Danny walked towards the office turning several times to see that Steve was still sitting, unmoving in the truck. He hated leaving his partner like this but he knew Steve well enough to know that he needed this time alone. He trusted that Steve would come to him when he was ready but he needed this time.

Moments after Danny left the truck Steve began sobbing uncontrollably. The emotions of last night and today crashed in on him and he cried and cried. He slammed his fist time after time against the passenger window until his knuckles bled. When he could simply cry no more he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. After several minutes he exited the truck and moving behind the wheel he again drove to the cemetery.

When he was enroute his phone rang and seeing it was Kailani he let it roll to his voice mail. Looking at the phone he noticed she had tried to reach him several times today. He couldn't talk to her now though, he just couldn't. He tossed the phone onto the seat beside him.

When he got to the cemetery he walked to the grave slowly. He sat and as he spoke the tears again steamed down his cheeks, "Catherine….baby I miss you so much…God I love you….."

He stayed again for hours and it was dark when he drove away from his family. Steve was not a big drinker, but he needed a few now and he headed to Murphy's.

It was eight o'clock and he needed to be to work by six in the morning but he needed a couple drinks, just to relax. His phone rang three times during the fifteen minute drive but he ignored it. He just couldn't talk to anyone….not tonight.

Danny's phone rang at about eleven thirty. He had fallen asleep on his couch after trying several times to reach Steve.

"Danny?"  
>"Yeah, who's this?"<br>"Danny, it's Carrie Simpson the waitress from Murphy's"  
>"Hey Carrie, what is it?"<br>"It's your partner"  
>"Steve? What about him?"<br>"He's here Danny and I think you better come and get him"  
>"Is he in trouble?"<br>"No, but he's had way too much to drink and there are a couple of known gang bangers here who've been watching him pretty closely and Danny, two more of them just showed up"  
>"Carrie, I'll be there in fifteen minutes, please just keep an eye on him for me"<br>"I will Danny, hurry though"

He hung up and dialed Chin as he grabbed his keys cursing under his breath.

"Damn it Steven, why didn't you call me?"

Chin answered groggily, "Danny?"  
>"Chin, its Steve. I'll be by to get you in five minutes"<p>

"Ok Bro"


	5. Chapter 5

As Chin jumped into the car Danny explained the call from Carrie, "Danny what are we going to do for him?"  
>Danny's voice was shaking, "I don't know Chin. Right now we've just got to get him home"<p>

As they pulled into the parking lot of Murphy's, Carrie came racing out to meet them.

"DANNY! They took him out back into the alley a couple of minutes ago. I've called HPD and an ambulance"

The detectives raced into the alley. Two of men were holding Steve up as the others were pummeling him. They heard the detectives approaching and dropping Steve to the concrete they ran the other way down the alley.

"STEVE, STEVE!" Both men knelt at their friends' side and turned him over gently.

"Dann….no….." Steve coughed, blood spraying from his mouth.

"Hey, don't talk babe. An ambulance is on the way"

"No….no ammb..ulannce…..I'm okkayy"  
>"Just shut up will you. You're going to get checked out whether you want to or not so don't argue with me"<p>

Chin was checking him over as Danny talked softly to him, "What are you thinking man? Why did you come here….alone….Jesus Steve….."

"DDanny…..I ccan't man…I ccan't" He again coughed, "Ooohhhhhhh mmy handd"  
>"Ssshhhhhhh, you're okay buddy"<br>Chin looked up, "They broke all the fingers on his right hand Danny"

The ambulance pulled into the lot, "Help's here now buddy, relax"

The paramedics were at his side quickly, "What happened here?"  
>"He was beaten. Be careful with what you give him, he's had a lot of alcohol"<p>

"What's his name?"  
>"Steve"<br>The paramedic was checking Steve's pupils and vitals, "Steve, can you tell me where you hurt?"  
>"No….no I ccan't…...Danny"<br>"Steve, can you focus for me now? Where do you hurt?"  
>"Jusst want ttooo ggo now" Steve tried to push away from the paramedic and Danny knelt down, pushing him back down.<p>

"HEY STEVEN you stubborn ass, knock it off now and lay still!"  
>"Taake mme home…nnoww…..DDaanno"<br>"No partner, you're going to the hospital so just relax and shut up"

"DDanny…I ccan't…"

"Sssshhhh, quiet now Steve…..we'll talk later"

HPD had arrived and Chin stayed to work the scene and try to identify the gang bangers as Danny went with Steve in the ambulance.

An hour later Danny called Chin to update him, "How's it going there Chin?"  
>"We just arrested two of the goons and they gave up the location of the other two. A squad's on the way there now. They just recognized Steve and decided to give him a beat down"<p>

"Well thank God Carrie called and we got there quickly"

"He's going to be okay then?"  
>"Physically yeah but I don't know what's going on in his head"<p>

"What are his injuries?"  
>"They broke all four fingers on his right hand and his knuckles are broken. His nose is broken. He had a couple of teeth knocked out and took a few stitches to the cuts on his face. Other than that he's just got a lot of bruising, he's lucky"<p>

"I'll stop up soon"  
>"Yeah we need to go home and get some sleep. Can you start the case with Kono tomorrow morning and I'll pick boss man up here and meet you at headquarters at about ten"<p>

"You sure they'll be releasing him then?"  
>"Yeah, they just want to keep him overnight. Our boy is sloshed Chin…..double the legal limit"<br>"Something's really got to be eating at him, he usually doesn't drink like this"  
>"Yeah, I know"<br>"I'll be there to get you in about fifteen minutes. Tomorrow could be a long day"  
>"I'm afraid you might be right buddy. I'll meet you downstairs"<p>

**505050505050505050505050**

Danny arrived at the hospital at seven o'clock fairly confident he would find his partner still sleeping.

He entered Steve's room to find no one in the bed. After checking the bathroom he went to the nurses' station.

"Can you tell me where Steve McGarrett is, room 245?"

"Mr. McGarrett?"  
>"YES, Mr. McGarrett. When I left here five hours ago he was sleeping in room 245"<br>Danny had a horrible feeling about this and looking up he saw the Doctor who treated Steve last night in a nearby hallway.

"Doc, can you tell me where my partner is?"

"Mr. McGarrett checked himself out a couple of hours ago"  
>"What? How could you let that happen? Why didn't somebody call me?"<p>

"Detective Williams he's an adult and physically I had no reason to keep him here"  
>"Yeah, okay….I'm sorry. So physically, he's alright?"<br>"He's sore, but he'll be fine"

Danny thanked the Doctor and then left the hospital heading to Steve's house.

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve's number kept rolling to his voice mail and after several attempts he dialed Chin.

"Danny, good morning. Have you seen Steve yet?"  
>"No, and it sounds like you haven't heard from him either?"<br>"Danny, what's going on?"

"He checked himself out of the hospital at about five o'clock and he's not answering his cell phone"

"Damn it"

"I'm going to swing by Murphy's first"  
>"Why?"<br>"His truck was there. He had no transportation at the hospital so I figure he must have taken a cab to pick it up. I'll call you in a bit"  
>"Okay bro"<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

After confirming that the truck was no longer at Murphy's he drove to Steve's house but he found no sign of him there either.

"God Steven…where in the hell are you?"

He then called Chin, "Hey Chin, have you heard from him?"  
>"No, he hasn't called me or Kono"<br>As they were talking a call rang in to Danny's cell. "Chin, it's the Governor. I'll call you right back"

"Governor Denning what can I do for you?"  
>"Detective Williams, with Commander McGarrett on leave for his family emergency and you in charge of the task force, I just wanted you to know that I received a visit this morning from Palini Ahanah thanking us for the professionalism your team exhibited yesterday in recovering their young son from his captors. Mr. Ahanah has provided a generous donation of 250,000.00 to assist in the continued funding of the 5-0 task force. Detective, please pass this information and my thanks on to your team, excellent job"<p>

"That's amazing, thank you Governor. I will pass on your message. It will probably be best to reach me on my cell phone here sir, please don't hesitate to call me"  
>"Thank you Detective, have a good day"<p>

Danny hung up the phone and moving to Steve's kitchen he grabbed a water bottle and then moved out onto the deck. He stood for several minutes trying to wrap his head around everything that was happening and then he decided to go back to headquarters.

He found Kono and Chin looking at a cold case file that the team had started working on before the Ahanah kidnapping.  
>"You finding anything new on that yet?"<br>Chin responded, "No nothing…it's a tough one. What did the Governor want?"  
>Danny told them of the Ahanah family donation and he sent along the Governors' thanks.<p>

"Danny, why did the Governor call you about this?"  
>"Chin, Kono… according to the Governor, Steve called him and took a leave of absence"<br>"What?"  
>"He told the Governor he had a 'family emergency'…..guys I don't like this"<br>Kono then stated, "We have to find him"  
>"That's not going to be easy cous'. If Steve McGarrett doesn't want to be found, he won't be"<p>

They were interrupted by Steve's office phone ringing and Danny ran to answer it.

"Commander McGarrett's office"  
>"Danny?"<br>"Yes, is this Kailani?"  
>"Yes Danny. Is Steve available?"<br>"Uhhh no. Kaialani when is the last time you saw Steve?"  
>"The night before last…..Danny, what's wrong? Where is Steve? Is he alright?"<br>"Hey, don't worry sweetheart, I'm sure he's just fine. Are you at your place?"  
>"Yes"<br>"I'll be right over so we can talk okay?"

"Okay, Thank you Danny"

The others had come into the office and as Danny hung up the phone he spotted the envelope on the desk to 'DANNO'

He looked at his teammates as he opened the envelope and read it out loud,

'_**Danny,**_

_**I am so sorry to leave like this but I need to get away and clear my head.**_

_**I have made so many mistakes Danno and I have hurt so many people.**_

_**I don't know when I will return and I ask that you please oversee the task force in my absence.**_

_**You are a dear friend and an amazing partner and I hope that you can forgive my weakness.**_

_**I have never felt so alone Danno...**_

_**Steve'**_

Danny set the letter down and running his hands through his hair he sighed deeply, "Oh shit...….."  
>Suddenly he remembered yesterday and the file Steve was staring at absent mindedly. He opened the desk drawer and pulled out the file that he had watched Steve put in there.<p>

He set the file on the desk and opened it. It was everything regarding the deaths of Catherine and John, including photos from the morgue.

"Danny? Why is that here?"  
>"He was looking at this yesterday morning. Then we had the kidnapping of a little boy who is just a few months older than John would be now...….."<p>

"Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know Chin. I need to go talk to Kailani. Something happened to him to trigger all this"  
>Kono looked terrified, "Danny that letter…...could he hurt himself?"<p>

"We talked about that after their deaths and he promised me he would talk to me if he ever got to that point"  
>"Danny, once you're at that point you can be so depressed that you're not thinking clearly…oh God we have to find him"<p>

Chin grabbed Kono's arms, "Hey cous' let's not even think like that. He'll be fine"  
>"Chin's right baby. He's been doing really well lately. He just needs a little time like he said to 'clear his head', I'll call you once I talk to Kailani. Now that we know he's gone off somewhere, Chin can you go check his house again for any signs as to where he might have gone. And Kono, run a report on his cell phone and credit cards. Track his GPS…we've got to find him"<p>

They all embraced and then went off in their separate directions to search for Steve.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve set up camp near the cave entrance. He loved this area so much. From the first time his father brought him here to see the petroglyphs as an eight year old boy it had been a special place for him. He always found peace here, and he needed peace now. Not since the days and months after the deaths of his family had he felt this much despair. He needed to think, to remember and reflect.

His body ached badly and he couldn't even remember the last time he was this hungover. His ribs ached and his hand hurt like hell. He chuckled silently at his stupidity, his fingers were sore but the knuckles throbbed. He couldn't blame anyone but himself for that...his truck window certainly won that battle!

Once the tent was up he grabbed his pack and several bottles of water and he began to hike.

**5050505050505050505050505050**

Danny entered Kailani's apartment and she poured him a cup of coffee. It was obvious that she had been crying and her eyes were red and puffy.

"Danny what's going on? I've left at least twenty text messages and voicemails for Steve since yesterday morning, is he alright?"  
>"I don't want to scare you Kailani, but I honestly don't know"<br>"What do you mean, what are you saying?"

"He's taken off. He left me a note telling me that he needed time to get away, to think and clear his head. Kailani, he seems to have been very happy lately but yesterday morning he was very distracted and moody. He had told me you were going to his place for dinner Tuesday night, did something happen…..anything out of the ordinary, that night?"

"Danny….."  
>"Kailani please? You have to tell me. It might help me find him, please tell me…...did you have an arguement?"<p>

"No….God no…..we made love Danny"  
>Danny sensed her embarrassment and he took hold of her hand, "Okay, that's good. So you two aren't fighting"<br>"No, not at all. I swear to you Danny he seemed happy. He really seemed happy"  
>"Honey, I believe you. Whatever is going on it's not your fault"<p>

"Oh God Danny, where could he be"

"I don't know, I just don't know. I'm going to do everything I can to find him though, I love him too"

"It was our first time Danny...…knowing what he had been through I would never put that pressure on him. He initiated it Danny and it…..it was beautiful. But then I said it….when we were laying together afterwards…I said it"

Danny spoke softly, "What? What did you say?"  
>"I…I told him I loved him Danny…Did I do this? Did I drive him over the edge?"<p>

Danny pulled her into his arms, "No, please Kailani you have to believe me. I PROMISE you that whatever is going on in Steve's head right now he's not blaming you. He would never blame you"

"Thank You…Steve is so lucky to have you. He loves you so very much"

"You have to stay strong for him. I'll find him….if he calls you, try to find out where he is and let me know right away"

"Of course I will. Find him Danny…please find him"

She walked him to the door and they embraced before Danny left. It was now beginning to make sense to him and he was scared for his partner.

**5050505050505050505050505050**

Danny phoned Chin as he drove away from Kailani's apartment.

"Hey Danny, how did it go?"  
>"Well brother I think our boy has had a lot of things crash in on him all at once"<br>"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure I found out more about his personal life than he would want me to know. Kailani told me that Tuesday night they slept together for the first time and she told him that she loved him"

"So that combined with him looking at the file and then top that off with Tyler's kidnapping…"

"Yeah Chin, I think Steve's depressed and it sounds to me like he's feeling guilty about having feelings for Kailani"

"He seemed to be doing so well Danny"  
>"I'm no shrink Chin but I'm sure it's pretty normal for him to have these feelings"<br>"It might be normal Danny, but it doesn't make it easy does it?"  
>"No brother…it doesn't. Did you find any leads at his place?"<p>

"No…..not yet"  
>"I'm going to drive and check out the cemetery. Call me if you find anything"<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Danny arrived at the cemetery and it was obvious that Steve had been there. Fresh flowers and a teddy bear adorned the grave and Danny knelt down.

Reading the inscription brought back a flood of memories to Danny.

Horrible memories of eighteen months ago….. Finding Steve lying on the floor of his bedroom, bleeding out; holding his pain wracked body as Chin removed the bullet from his shoulder and cauterized the wound; finding Catherine, her blood soaked body, lying on the solid ground in the woods; supporting his partner as he held both his wife and his newborn son as they took their final breaths. And he shivered as he remembered the terrifying moment that he found this strong man kneeling in front of John's never used crib, holding a gun to his head…The weeks and months that followed seem like a lifetime ago.

He had moved into Steve's place and stayed there for four months. He would have stayed longer but he thought Steve would have killed him.

Danny lifted his tear-filled eyes to the sky, _**'Catherine…please keep him safe'**_

Suddenly, as if she told him, it came to him. He knew where Steve was. He raced to his truck while dialing Chin.

"Danny, I was just about to call you. His camping gear is gone"

"Yeah, I think I know where he is brother. The caves with the petroglyph writings. When we hiked up there he told me how much he loved going up there to think, to get away"

"Do you want to swing by and pick me up?"  
>"No buddy, I think I better head up there by myself"<br>"Okay bro. Are you pretty sure about this?"

"Yeah. I don't have any other ideas, do you?"  
>"No…I wouldn't know where to even start"<br>"Let's hope I'm right. I won't have any cell service there so don't worry. If I find him, we may be there a while"

"Just find him and take care of him brother"

Danny jumped into his car and started driving towards the caves.

It was a little more than an hour drive and Danny was very relieved when he came across Steve's truck pulled off the side of the road.

That relief was short lived though as he moved to the truck and saw blood on the passenger side window. He broke into the truck and noted that this appeared to be the only blood.

There wasn't too much blood and it was fully dried. He figured there had to be a logical explanation for it and after calling Chin to let him know he found Steve's truck he started walking towards the caves.

Steve was right, he had to admit that it was unbelievably gorgeous and peaceful here.

Danny arrived at the cave a little before three in the afternoon and he instantly found Steve's tent. After checking the area and figuring he must be hiking he grabbed a bottle of water from Steve's cooler and then he sat down with his back against a large rock and waited.

Closing his eyes, Danny soon fell asleep.

He woke a couple of hours later to the aroma of fish frying. He moved over to the fire sitting on a log that Steve had set up. Steve was leaning over the fire holding the pan. "I hope you're hungry. There's plenty for both of us. Can I get you a beer partner?"

"Yeah, that'll be good"  
>Steve moved to the cooler and grabbed two beers, handing one to Danny.<p>

"Thanks"

They sat silently as Steve continued to cook and they sipped their beers.

As they finished eating, Danny spoke, "Are you ready to talk Steve?"

"Danny….I can't….."  
>"Steve listen to me buddy. I'm worried about you, that's all"<br>"And I told you that you worry about me too much!"  
>"Well forgive me for caring about you partner"<p>

Steve looked at Danny seeing the hurt in he's eyes, "DAMN IT Danny…I'm sorry" He stood and turned away from his friend.

Danny moved to the cooler and grabbed a couple more beers.

Walking past Steve he handed him a beer and stated quietly, "Come on"

Steve followed him and the both sat back onto the log.

"I can't do it Danno….I'm trying but I just can't do it. Kailani is a wonderful girl…."  
>"Do you love her Steve?"<p>

"I care for her very much….Danny…I don't want to hurt her. I've hurt so many people"

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Look at all the people who have died because of my thirst for vengeance against Wo-Fat. Danny, Catherine and John are dead because of ME!"

"That's not true and you know it! Wo-Fat was evil and he did everything he could to destroy you Steve. HE was responsible for every one of those deaths, Laura….Jenna…..Catherine and John. HE did this Steven, not you!"

"He wanted to destroy me Danno…...well... he did"

"No babe, you're wrong. You killed him, you ended it…"

"Don't you understand Danny…..it's not over…...it will never be over because I lost everything when he killed Cath and John. And now I've betrayed her…I've betrayed her" Steve began to sob at those words as his anger and frustration boiled over.

Danny couldn't control himself and his voice shook with emotion, "What? Because you slept with Kailani? You feel you've betrayed Catherine because you've slept with Kailani?"

Tears were streaking down Steve's cheeks, "Oh God Danno, I….I…..miss her so much"  
>Danny put his arm around his shoulder and instantly Steve's defenses broke down and his sobs increased.<p>

Danny just held him, "Let it all out partner, you're going to be okay"

"I can't …Danno…..I can't do it…anymore"

"Steve, Catherine loved you with all her heart. She was so happy to be pregnant, to be carrying your son. She talked to me many times about you. She was so proud of the job you do, the good things you do for so many people. She was so honored to be your wife …..she talked to me because she feared for you Steven. She loved you so much and she feared every day that something would happen to you and that you wouldn't be coming home to her. I know you babe and I understand when you say you can't go on without her and the baby, but damn it Steve, you have to. I only have to tell you about this morning…..you saved Tyler Ahanah's life. What you do every day matters McGarrett, can't you see that? You will go on because what you do matters and no one knew that more than Cath. You will do it FOR HER because that's the man you are. Steve, Catherine would want you to go on, to find love again….she would want that for you because she loved you. You are not betraying her by loving another woman. She and John will always be a part of you. I love you too and you deserve happiness Steve….I want you to be happy"

Steve looked into his friends bright blue eyes, dampened with tears. "Danny…I'm so confused. I feel so alone"

"You're not alone Steve, I promise you…..you are not ever alone. So many people love you and need you. Chin, Kono, Joe, Kamekona, MaryAnn, Kailani, Me…Gracie…..God Steve, we all love you so much. Don't you know that?"

Steve was shaking, "Danny…..I know. What's wrong with me Danny?"

"Nothing's wrong with you partner…..you're still grieving. I'm here for you Steve, we all are. We want to help you, just let us"

"I need to be alone tonight Danny"  
>"No you don't Steve….like I said, let me help….please. I can't leave you alone like this. I won't"<p>

Steve sat quietly as he composed himself. After several minutes and still looking at the fire he spoke softly, "Thank You Danno….let's go home"


	9. Chapter 9

After they broke down camp they loaded up the truck and Danny followed Steve.

He phoned Chin as they drove letting him know that they were heading to Steve's place.

"Danny, I spoke with HPD earlier. The girl that kidnapped Tyler was the daughter of one of Mr. Ahanah's employees. Apparently she was desperate for a child and emotionally unstable. She saw Tyler at a company picnic she attended with her father and she became obsessed with the child. She convinced her boyfriend to carry out the kidnapping and they planned to fly to California and start a new life as a family. They had been watching the Ahanah's for weeks and knew that Mrs. Ahanah had an appointment every Wednesday morning and that's when they made their move. Also HPD has arrested the other two gang bangers who beat Steve"

"Good work Chin. You and Kono call it a night and I'll talk to you in the morning"

"Are you staying at Steve's tonight?"  
>"Whether he likes it or not, his couch is going to be my bed for a while"<br>"Thanks brother, send our love to him"  
>"I will man, good night"<br>**  
><strong>

As they pulled into Steve's driveway and were unloading the truck Danny pointed to the truck's window, "Can you tell me what happened there? I assume that's your blood?"

"No Danny, that's the blood of the man I killed last night"  
>Danny looked at his partner's dead panned expression, "Whhhatt?"<br>Steve stared at him for several seconds before busting out laughing showing a gaping space where his two teeth were knock out, "I'm kidding Danno!" He raised his cast, "My knuckles lost that fight"

Danny smiled, "Yeah, I guess they did didn't they? You are an idiot you know that?"

And you still love me"

"Yes sir, that I do. I think the first thing you need to do is schedule an appointment with the dentist…..at least they didn't knock out those perfect front teeth"

As they moved into the living room with a couple of beers Danny told Steve about the HPD arrests and the details on the Ahanah kidnapping. He told Steve of the call from Governor Denning and of Mr. Ahanah's donation.

"Are you kidding me? 250,000.00? My God…..that's amazing"  
>"Yeah boss…...uuhh is now a good time to discuss a raise?"<p>

Steve smiled, "I'll see what I can do. I've been thinking Danny…...I need to break it off with Kailani"  
>"Are you sure about that?"<br>"I really care about her Danny, I do…I enjoy her company greatly, we always have a great time"  
>"Then what's the problem?"<br>"I crossed that line buddy. I slept with her and now she loves me"

Danny couldn't contain his laughter. Steve looked at him, holding his hands out, "What's so funny?"  
>"Super Seal I'm sure that your sexual magnetism attracts many a young lady but I would bet you, in fact I GUARANTEE YOU that Kailani had fallen in love with you before the other night"<p>

Steve grinned, "Okay I guess you got me there buddy, but I should never have let it happen Danny. I feel like I led her on and I feel terrible about it"  
>"Did it feel right in the moment"<br>"Yes….it did"

"Steve, grief is different for everyone. Just be honest with her babe. When I talked to her she told me she loves you but she also told me that she never wants to pressure you. She knows what you've been through and if she really loves you, she'll understand. Take things slow. There's nothing wrong having a beautiful friend who you simply enjoy spending time with. I'm not always going to be available you know"

Steve burst out laughing at his partner, "You're something else partner. I'm sure lucky"  
>"Yes you are, and don't you ever forget it!"<p>

"Thank You Danno…..Thank You"

**50505050505050505050505050**

Steve arrived at the office the next morning after stopping at Kailani's to talk.

Danny followed him into his office.

"How did go? Is everything okay?"

"She's amazing Danny. We had a very good talk and we're going to concentrate on being friends. I'm so lucky man"  
>"Try to never forget that Steve...…a lot of people love you and remember, you're never alone"<p>

THE END


End file.
